wouldn't it be cool if there was really hogwarts?
like we can do majors in magic instead of the bullshit reality?
vast imagination. but it all comes back to being realistic.
maybe i should visit the upcoming exhibition!
i seriously have a feel for magic. lol




this. is. it.
the best beancurd i have ever tasted in my life. no joke.
it literally melts in your mouth. 
you die die must try this. no regrets.


how i wish i own a car. then i can just get my license and vroooom. night outings aren't a problem anymore. screw those rich people who spoils their children ): jealous max. sigh..
but it's alright. i know i have a blessed life somehow. 
i have superficially caring cousins, and a truly caring aunt, but most of all, i have some people whom i can trust fall on.




it's recently quite happening in my family ( as in my cousins and all )
i just attended my cousin's baby full month celebration.
wah. the baby damn cute. serious.
see already will really melt. lol
hope she will grow up and be a beauty. 




so cute right. 
anyway, i really pity the younger ones nowadays.
seriously, i see a lot of them, A LOT, wearing specs, at like primary school age?
like wtf. what are they doing? why the fuck do they need specs?
back then, specs was the IN thing, now, specs is the must have thing is it?
they are too spoilt for choices. for technology.
somehow, i feel that the traditions are kind of wearing off. slowly. but surely. one day, people won't even know the existence of five stones anymore.
see how our world is rapidly developing? in a sense it's kind of harmful.
anyway,
i'm kind of mentally tired. maybe because school itself is too draining. 
i don't think cca is the cause of it. 
ahhhhh. maybe is because of my upcoming tests. 
my term tests are in 2 weeks time ): sigh.
and here i am blogging away instead of mugging away.




yumyum. hungry now?
ok.
am looking forward to late night dinner dates. *hints


innocence, is one of the best childhood gift.
overslept today, ended up getting an mc. sigh lowell ah lowell..
nevermind. i've made a new GIF for you'all to see. lol




just got this app. so fun. ok bye.


funny how i contradict myself.
school has started, like for almost a month already?
woah. i swear time is damn fast. soon, the first quizzes are arriving, then term test. wah fuck.
so limited time. everyday end at 4pm earliest, latest 9pm due to cca trainings.
db trainings are on tuesdays, thursdays, and saturdays(sea training). 
i used to groan about cca, but surprisingly, i'm actually kind of looking forward to trainings. for now.
next sat (19 may) is the selection. i don't know is it for the team itself, or for competition. nevertheless, i wanna get into the latter. seriously i think i'm the weakest there uh. never give up!




THIRD. anyway, this is a reminder for me :/
because i wouldn't have got selected for the dragonboat regatta team without my partner. i swear it was him who helped me get into the team. btw the regatta was on orientation week, not the actual cca ok.
must train hard! 




so jialat sunburn ): this is WITH calamine lotion btw. looks like i got some skin disease.. 
really kind of miss my carefree life that i had for half a year that time. now is really, literally, grasping for air. lol ok i exaggerated. 
my class, started to form it's own cliques. that's one of the sad parts. but kind of an advantage for the quiet ones. can't be bothered anyway.
even if i wanna go out with my friends, also need find time uh. with cca, and in ASC, seriously not much time for entertainment. 
talking about that...


I WANT TO GO CLUB. NICHOLAS YOU GOOD LA.
nevermind, at least i'm still young. lolol.




ok. time to introduce people. this is Sean.
i swear he is the cutest and funniest guy i have met so far. and i talked to him the most in class. LOL new good friend found lol.


nowadays i'm hungry easily. hunger season. no joke. i just ate like beef noodles, AND carrot cake for dinner just now, plus a slice of mango cake and seedless grapes for supper. DAFUG. i swear i'm gonna regret this shit. ugh.


and i wanna do a photoshoot! like take damn nice pictures. put new dp for fb and twitter. like those see liao will " WAH SO CHIO/SHUAI". YES I WANT YOU IF YOU GOT DSLR. 
*hints to mary*
okay shall end with my twitter dp. 
don't bother judging k.
OH YA AND SO FAR TWO PEOPLE SAID I LOOK LIKE FROM TAIWAN. HAHAHAHAHHA. FUCK YEAH. 
x




experience it, then talk.
foc was crap. 
comparing with fop, i prefer fop x infinity.
meeting my new classmates, getting along so easily! 
i really hope there's no mask worn from anyone. because i didn't wear mine.
although some of them were eerily quiet, some of them were horrendously noisy, think optimistically, my class has both extremes! and i declare myself to be in the middle class. lol.
i may not know any of their stories, their past, but i sure am willing to go to the future with some of them. 
not forgetting my other friends also! i have not forgotten my 11s22 people ok! provided they remember me? i think i hold such an insignificant place in some of their mind, because i left early. 




and of course my friends and teachers from bmss!
the partially made teachers day card. i regretted not taking the completed card ):
but i sure did put in a lot of effort! because she's my d&t teacher. hahaha. the best teacher i've had in sec school.
if i were to compare myself from last year, and this year,
all i can say is, i'm living my life to almost the fullest. 
i've realised too much, and there's so much i've yet to do!
and i think i was too quiet in the past. 
why do people bother to change? it's a question with many different answers and perceptions. maybe they see a need to, maybe they are following blindly, maybe they want to free themselves from the past, maybe. 
then why do people remain the same? maybe they are stubborn, maybe they do not want to change their current lifestyle, maybe they are already contented. maybes.




in case if you didn't know, i bought PEN A TICKETS! 
for BTW BALL TOUR on 29th May, tuesday. AWESOME.
one of the happiest moments in my life, because at that time i was literally snatching this ticket with someone else. sadly i'm going alone ): i want companion also cannot, because, 
I BOUGHT THE LAST TICKET HAHAHA. 
already anticipating it, and i foresee a very magnificent performance! 
aiya you don't like her your problem la. 
everyone has idols right. 
mutual respect. if you don't have it, you don't deserve it.




i know i am contradicting myself now, invasion of privacy and all, BUT HEY, DID YOU EVER NOT POST ANY UNGLAMS OF ME? i seldom too. 
so here's a very rare picture i caught. irene please don't beat me ):


i hold on to my faith, even stronger now.
yes. FOC has ended.
and the only reason i didn't fully enjoy it was because the groupings were too big.
truthfully, i think only the OGLs will enjoy it, because they spent so much time preparing this camp, and freshies only attends it for three days.
imagine this, spending three days with people you don't even know. how is this possible to have your so called "best time of your lives" ?
so overall, i do not think that the camp is crap, i do not think that the camp is so awesome that you won't regret joining it, i just think it's a camp that's worth going to let your hair down.






day one.
ice breakers within a huge group, impossible to actually bond, unless with the person next to you la. but what's even worse is that some of them had friends sitting beside them, sad.
first day sucked. i didn't make any new friends because they were all fucktards talking to their friends.
imagine you're in a new school with nobody. and the people around you just do not want to initiate a topic. i initiated and they didn't. WHAT THE FUCK CAN I DO. like ask basic introductory questions and all. after asking loads, they just keep quiet, or even go back to talking to senseless topics with their friends. won't your blood boil? RAGE SIA.
ok sua. 
evening supper, i really was so sad. LOL. seriously. because i really didn't get to make any new "friends" that i can call friends.
just then, an ogl approached me. she's 94 and waiting for her year2 to start. wah we chatted chatted like nobody business. I LIKE. haha i even sacrificed bathing early just to keep on talking with her! IT'S LIKE HAI DI LAO ZHEN LA. found someone same age as me, willing to talk so much to me! we had so much topics to talk about i swear lol. ranging from introductory, to our own lives. could have talked more but she urged me to go bathe and sleep ): because i looked shag. sigh.
couldn't get to sleep because i came down to the hall late, all the good spots taken, and i slept near the entrance of the hall. super noisy i swear. all you can hear while lying down is people walking about. HOW TO SLEEP. also, everyone slept with their friends. can you imagine sleeping alone. I SWEAR I AM DAMN PATHETIC.






day two.
morning exercises at 730am, then we had our mass dance! my partner was another ogl, sihui. wah she small size hor, but when come to the hooking each other's arm and circling around, SHE DRAGGED ME INSTEAD. and i thought i would send her flying, but WAH SHE POWER LA.
the other activities were no fun, really. went out of school do "missions" which actually introduces us where are the nearby places we can go after school and all, most were coffeeshops.
evening. i wanted to find that ogl which actually clicked off well with me. but she was no where in sight since morning D: really damn sad.




day three.
morning exercises at 7am, then breakfast then water games! the water games consists of ten stations, but we only completed five because each of the stations took up too much time. then amazing race, had to do as many tasks as possible. most of them were stupid ya. can't remember any though.
after that it was the ogls performances. woah. i swear theirs was damn good. really can see how much time and effort they actually put it in to make it so fluently. mocking all the empire's cheer and making it so hilarious, and doing amazingly good skits as well.
after that it was time to say goodbye. departed tp at 8pm i guess? and again, i didn't see that ogl again for the whole day. really sad. 
then my group had this dinner. but i didn't go. firstly i didn't want to, secondly i had dinner at home, thirdly i live far away. ok no sense but i wanted to reach home asap lol.
and for the dinner right, i only think ogls will enjoy it la. freshies who spent three days of their lives, aren't close to either their new acquaintances or ogls, wouldn't enjoy that dinner. and instead it would be filled with awkwardness right? yes la.
wah siao liao. the bus stop only got bus 23 that goes to tampines mrt. so wait lor. then while waiting i met another freshie in the same empire but different sub group. then wah we started to introduce all these. and i found out that he was also alone. same state as me. lol. maybe he could be my break time buddy lol.


okay i know people will be like " wah lowell so poor thing. go camp want make friends, in the end no friend. " my exact sentiments. sigh. nevermind, try again! 
if i have the time and mood, maybe i'll try applying for ogl. just maybe, no assurances. 




competition is stiff, and i'm losing out.

school's gonna start.
it's all happening so fast,
yet as expectedly fast.
already made plans. since the day i've made the decision.
actually i do feel a sense of accomplishment, to make such a huge decision.
tell me who quits school during september? lol.


friends tell me to be wary. because of their own personal experience.
are poly people really that bad? or is it coincidentally that they meet the wrong people?
i choose to believe the latter. 
truthfully, i am imagining that i will make secured friendships for the next three years. could be a little naive though.
i'm having this mentality again, same as last year:
to be in a new environment with no hi-bye friends. 
actually it might work again, because it's in the east. and rarely people living in the south would go there.
besides, i will come to a point that i will regret making this so called wish. really.
it's gonna be like dejavu. 




woah. but whenever i think of my job attachment, i am really looking forward to the next three years. it's gonna be worth it anyway.


sudden thought.
friends,
we all have them. but you see, once in a while we don't really catch up. and that's where we start drifting.
if you don't initiate anything, i would try to.
at one point in life, we will lose friends.
i haven't experience that yet, but i don't want to as well. 
it's really hard to maintain one. 




and recently, i have this urge to go to some where, whereby it's so relaxing and peaceful.
given a chance, i would want to stay there for at least three days. 
or also going abroad alone. maybe maximum with one or two close friends.
in the past i used to think, why do people go overseas?
now i think, how can people not go overseas in their lives?
our innocence will never be obvious again. 
and even if i hate, i can't do anything about it. hate feeling this helpless.
sooner or later, i'm gonna fulfil this fourth dream of mine! 


though i only have four dreams, you can call it four almost impossible dreams. okay this last one is not impossible. 


i hope everything goes as planned; faith.

have been staying home for almost a week now.
boy, do i feel bored. i feel a little bored of being so laid back. i want to feel the intense pressure again. and it's approaching real fast.
ya i a bit crazy already. and the cycle repeats itself infinite times until i die.


different.
if only i can embark on a peaceful side of life,
maybe just, just 3 peaceful days by the country side is fine. 
i could really use some getaways now.




no matter what, one day, we'll all walk this lonely route of life.
it's either we face it, or we escape it.


it's kind of annoying, this feeling.
it's like you want to open up to someone but, who?
some of them can't help, some of them are full of worries themselves.
it's kind of annoying isn't it.




because i label myself as stupid.
why am i doing all these?
hug me if you can, i really need one now.
maybe because i realised, life is short.




final score. biomedical science at temasek polytechnic.
i wish myself to have a very fruitful and meaningful three years ahead.
be it tough, hard, excruciatingly pain, i will endure those shit.
okay, thanks, bye.

abouthim

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